


right here waiting

by NoirSongbird



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam is alive, Additional Warnings in Chapter Notes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Brainwashing, Erotomanic Obsession, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lotor Is Good Actually, M/M, Mind Control, Past Abuse, Past Adam/Sendak, Past Lotor/Sendak - Freeform, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Stalking, Vers Adam (Voltron), Vers Keith (Voltron), all of which were some form of abusive/nonconsensual, allura is alive, consent obtained via dark druid magic is not consent folks, eventually, past Shiro/Sendak - Freeform, sendak was a bastard and now he's dead, the Kadam and eventual endgame Adasheith are consensual, the Shurtis is not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-09-30 19:28:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17229833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirSongbird/pseuds/NoirSongbird
Summary: Takashi Shirogane's wedding should be a happy occasion, attended by family and friends from all across the universe. It should be a celebration of the peace and prosperity they all fought so long, and so hard, for.Should.Allegedly, Shiro found his happiness and left the battle behind him. The question is: what did Curtis do to make that possible?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as indicated by the tags--this is a pretty dark take on That One Aspect of Voltron's ending. This chapter doesn't get deep into the dark stuff, but there is a content warning for a brief discussion of sexual assault and torture (more details in endnotes.)
> 
> I hope y'all are ready to come on his trip with me, because mm, I'm excited.

If Adam were being entirely honest, he wasn’t sure why he’d accepted Shiro’s invitation to his wedding. He wasn’t even sure why Shiro had _sent_ him one, really. They’d barely spoken for months, and Adam supposed that could only be his fault. He’d hoped that things might be better—that they could at least be _friends_ again—but even though they’d talked out how things had ended between them and Shiro insisted he understood and it was okay, and he forgave Adam for all the awful, shitty things he’d said back before Shiro left for Kerberos….well. Shiro’s attitude suggested something very different.

Adam’s best guess, up until he received the wedding invitation, was that all that talk of forgiveness had been out of pity, or out of some desire not to compromise Adam’s recovery from three years spent enjoying the tender mercies of Commander Sendak. Shiro had tolerated him for as long as it took to be sure Adam wasn’t going to completely fall apart, because Takashi Shirogane was too good a person to let something like that happen. Then, as soon as he was sure Adam was alright—or as alright as he was going to be, under the circumstances—he’d done what he actually wanted, which was to be done with Lieutenant Adam West.

Which definitely did not explain him asking Adam to be part of his wedding party, along with the other Paladins and Emperor Lotor. All of them, Adam got. He even understood why Keith got chosen as Shiro’s best man, and he had to admit, he felt for him, because all through the wedding and his best man speech, Keith looked like he wanted nothing more than to be the one on Shiro’s arm. It was a feeling Adam perfectly understood.

He took a long drink of champagne, finishing off his glass, right as the waiter carrying the drinks tray wandered by. Adam gave him his best, most polite smile, and traded the empty glass for a full one, because he needed as much alcohol as he could get his hands on if he was going to make it through this and keep faking like he was enjoying this, for Shiro’s sake.

Adam wanted to be. He really did. Shiro deserved all the happiness in the world, after everything he had been through. It was just….hard to believe that he’d found it with _Curtis._

“That’s your fourth or fifth drink.”

Adam started a little. He hadn’t even noticed Keith slip up next to him, but there he was, wearing the same stupid white suit the entire wedding party had been pushed into, and staring over at Shiro and Curtis, his expression something between disdain and misery.

“Do you always sneak up on people like that?” he asked. Keith shrugged.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, sorry,” he said, though he only sounded so repentant.

“I guess you don’t have to mean to. All that spy training.” Adam forced himself to crack a smile, and Keith let out a little amused snort.

Adam paused for a moment to take him in. He’d been away for a few months before the wedding, but the invitation had him racing back to Earth, and there was no denying that Keith looked good. His long hair was pulled into a loose, neat braid, and even the scar on his cheek somehow added to his attractiveness, drawing the eye to his big, bright, violet eyes. Adam had always thought they were a pretty color, rare on Earth, and it almost made sense that Keith had inherited them from his alien mother. As Adam scanned the crowd, his eyes fell on her, leaning against the leader of the Blade of Marmora in a way that clearly indicated they were Together.

“Krolia and Kolivan seem to be having a good time,” he observed idly.

“At least someone is,” Keith said, unhappily, and he took a long sip of his drink. Adam raised his eyebrows, glancing down.

“Since my drinking habits are up for discussion, I feel totally comfortable asking how many you’ve had,” he teased lightly. Keith paused, and tilted his head to the side.

“....I think it’s my third?”

“Isn’t champagne supposed to be a happy-drunk alcohol?” Adam asked, idly swirling his glass.

“ _You_ don’t look happy either,” Keith said, and he sighed. “Sorry. I know I should be trying harder to be happy for Shiro.”

His eyes moved back to the couple of the hour, and Adam’s followed, and he watched the way Curtis’s hand slid from Shiro’s shoulder down to the small of his back with a curdling twist of jealousy. There was something almost possessive about the way Curtis leaned into Shiro’s space, the way he never seemed to stop touching him, and Adam forced himself to stomp those thoughts down. Jealousy was a bad look, especially when the only reason Shiro wasn’t with him anymore was that _he_ had dropped a shitty, cruel ultimatum.

“I should too,” Adam admitted, and he sighed, huddling in on himself. “I brought up the idea of marriage, once. Not really asking him, just testing the waters, you know? And he laughed.” He finished his drink. “But hey, I guess I’m not Bridge Bunny Number Three.”

“That’s harsh,” Keith said, though he didn’t sound like he disagreed.

“Yeah, maybe,” Adam acknowledged. Keith let out a tiny, unhappy growl, and Adam glanced over in time to watch him tip back the rest of his glass. “Takashi and I knew Curtis when we were cadets. He and I were...sort of friends? And he’s always been…fine, you know. A little boring, but fine.” He shrugged. “And now he’s the luckiest man in the room.”

“How did this even….happen?” Keith asked. “You’ve been here more than I have. Getting the invitation was…kind of a surprise?”

“I watched it _happen_ and the invitation was kind of a surprise,” Adam admitted. “They’d only been dating about five months when they got engaged, about six months ago. But, I mean. Rushing into things is….sort of Takashi’s modus operandi. And he seems really, really happy.”

It was true; no matter how much Adam wanted to deny it, Shiro was smiling and laughing through the chat he and Curtis were having with Yuki Tsukiyama, an old friend of Shiro’s. Adam had always really liked Yuki, which was sort of a weird relationship to have with your boyfriend’s former fuckbuddy, but Yuki was both cute and funny, and he had Shiro’s best interests at heart. He was also the one that had blessed Shiro with the nickname “Fuckhead,” which…in Adam’s opinion, was more accurate than it had a right to be.

Curtis, on the other hand, looked far less excited, and Adam watched his smile get more and more tense the longer Shiro and Yuki talked. Adam narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, setting down his glass on the nearest table.

“Wow,” Keith grumbled, and Adam glanced over, and realized that he was looking at exactly the same thing, “how very dare Shiro have a conversation with a _friend_. How very dare he talk to another man who isn't Iverson or Commander Holt or Kolivan.” He let out a very hefty sigh, and reached out, grabbing another glass of champagne as a tray passed by. “How very dare he have Yuki—or Lotor, for that matter, I saw Curtis giving him the stink-eye earlier—in his life. You know, friends he loves, but strictly platonically.”  

“Oh, so I _wasn’t_ imagining that things were weirdly tense between Lotor and Curtis?” Adam asked. Keith hummed agreement. “I keep thinking I’m reading too much into things, but this is...pretty bad.”

He watched as Curtis very un-casually looped his arm in with Shiro’s and began to tug him away, as Shiro shrugged and laughed out what was probably an apology, and Yuki frowned but nodded him off.

“I really don't think you are. That looks like some jealous, possessive shit,” Keith said, and he took another drink, and Adam suspected that even with whatever extra alcohol tolerance being Galra gave him, Keith would be feeling the champagne pretty shortly. “Just...come on, bitch, you just married Shiro. How do you justify being jealous of one of the people he _didn’t_ decide to spend his life with? Because if he thinks there’s any risk of Shiro cheating...maybe it’s insecurity, maybe it’s them rushing headlong into getting married, but if he even kind of thinks that’s a possibility, there’s no way he knows Shiro at _all._ ”  
  
“To be fair,” Adam said, “if I was the human equivalent of the color beige, I’d be jealous of Takashi talking to much more interesting people, too. He’d never cheat, no, but he might pull his head out of his ass about how there are actually people out there who _do_ love him, and he doesn’t have to get hitched to the first available warm body.” He knew he sounded more hopeful than he had any right to, considering the situation, and considering that the thing he was hoping for was _incredibly_ shitty and inappropriate, but he couldn’t help himself.

He was pretty sure that the look Keith gave him in response was supposed to be unimpressed, but mostly, it just looked miserable, like all the tragic pining in Adam’s chest was reflected in those big, beautiful purple eyes.

“I really want you to be right about that? But considering the opinions that Shiro usually has about himself, and how willingly he'd throw himself on a grenade for the sake of someone else's happiness? I…have concerns.”

He looked back over at Shiro and Curtis, now wrapped in a conversation with some member of Curtis’s side of the wedding party—a cousin, or something, Adam had to admit that he hadn’t paid too much attention during the introductions.

“I…” Adam sighed, and he knew his misery had to be written on his face; it was a good thing he and Keith had chosen a spot to drink and be miserable that was relatively separate from the rest of the party. “I hate how right you probably are. Fuck, he deserves so much better than this.”

Or, Adam wanted to believe that. Wanted to believe that there was something gravely wrong in front of him, because that was easier, he supposed, than accepting the truth—which was that Shiro looked perfectly happy, and maybe Curtis’s behavior was a little weird, but at the same time, who _wouldn’t_ want to be handsy with Takashi Shirogane. There was just so much to be handsy _on._ Maybe it was the longing—Adam was willing to admit that pining and champagne were a terrible combination—but he could sympathize. If _he_ were marrying Takashi Shirogane, he’d want to have his hands all over that man too.

A tiny sigh passed his lips, and he glanced over at Keith, who looked painfully pensive. His eyes moved from Shiro back to Adam, and they flicked up and down, and Adam had the brief and very distinct sensation that he was being checked out.

“I…” Keith started, and then he let out a small huff, “look. This is probably not my best idea, and also definitely not the smoothest seduction in the universe? But. I have a room, at this hotel, and. Maybe we could get out of here, before we get too much drunker and do something stupid?” Those big, sparkly eyes got a little bigger, and more plaintive in a way that went straight to Adam’s heart. “I’d really rather not be alone tonight.”

Adam was pretty sure that “sleep with Keith at Takashi’s wedding when both of them were definitely, obviously, blatantly pining over Shiro” was somewhere high up on the list of his worst ideas ever.

He was also pretty sure that he didn’t give a shit.

“I think I’d like that.” The funny thing was, he was pretty sure he was going to. Keith was gorgeous, and Adam would be lying if he said he hadn’t wondered what it would be like to kiss those soft, plush lips, or to feel that lithe, muscular body pressed against him.

“Good,” Keith said, and he actually seemed to perk up a little, which was more than kind of cute. “We’ll go say our goodbyes to the happy couple and get out of here.”

Part of Adam felt guilty, running out on Takashi’s wedding early. Another part of him thought of weeks of being politely frosted out, and of how much it hurt to see Takashi give that soft, gentle “I’m desperately in love with you” smile to someone else, and decided that leaving was for the best, for him and for Takashi.

So he carefully wound through party guests, giving polite nods and smiles to the people he knew, until he slipped up on Curtis and Takashi, with Keith right behind him. Briefly, he wondered what Shiro might make of them leaving at the same time, and then he decided that it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t like he was doing something _wrong._

“Hey, Shiro,” he said, and it felt a little wrong to use that nickname, because he’d been _Takashi_ for so long, but with the way Curtis was reacting to anyone acting at all close to Shiro….probably for the better. “Keith and I are going to dip out a little bit early, but I wanted to say _mazal tov_ to the happy couple before we left.”

“Yeah, congratulations. You guys make each other really happy,” Keith said, and Adam could see a hint of strain in his smile, which…he more than understood.

He was surprised when Shiro stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, but quickly squeezed back, and then let him go so he could give Keith one too—and he watched Curtis’s face the whole time, and watched a brief flare of what _definitely_ looked like furious jealousy flash across it before he plastered his smile back on.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” Shiro said warmly. “It means a lot to me. Adam, I’ll see you at the Garrison come Monday, and Keith—don’t be a stranger. I miss you. And Kosmo, too.”

“You only like me for my giant space wolf,” Keith lamented playfully, and Shiro laughed.

“Well, both of you—and Kosmo, if he can even fit inside these days—are welcome at our place any time. Right, baby?” Shiro asked, as Curtis moved back into his space, wrapping both hands around his bicep.

The smile plastered on Curtis’s face was the fakest thing Adam had ever seen, and he filed that away with vague interest.

“Of course,” Curtis said, in a tone that clearly indicated he was only saying that for Shiro’s benefit. “Thank you so much for coming, both of you,” he said, and then he raised a hand to give a little, dismissive wave as he tugged Shiro off, towards some other relative of his. Keith stared after them for a long moment, and then looped his arm with Adam’s, tugging him towards the reception hall’s exit. Adam went, and he forced himself not to look back.

* * *

The first thing Adam noticed, upon stepping into Keith’s hotel room, was that the bed was very much occupied—or, it was until Kosmo realized that there were two new people in the room. He leapt off the bed and bounded forward, and then sat down in front of Adam and stared up at him with eyes that said, as clearly as possible, _please pet me right now._

Really, what else was Adam supposed to do? He bent down and started scratching behind Kosmo’s ears, and Kosmo happily leaned into it, tail thumping on the ground.

“I didn’t know this hotel was pet friendly,” Adam said idly. He tried to recall if he’d seen any other animals around, and came up empty.

“Uh, it’s not, technically?” Keith said, and he shrugged as he walked over to the bed, peeling off his suit jacket and then his waistcoat. “But _you_ try telling that to the teleporting wolf. And it’s not like he sheds or anything, so I figured it was fine?”

Adam nodded along, but he found that it was, very suddenly, distractingly difficult to make words. The suit jacket had been deceptively loosely tailored, it seemed, because it covered up the way Keith’s button-up clung to his muscular torso. It was one thing to see Keith in armor, but it was a whole nother to watch him undo his braid while his biceps seemed to strain against his sleeves. Keith wasn’t traditionally buff, certainly not as big as Shiro was, post-whatever the Galra had done to him, but he was definitely toned and lithe and breathtakingly gorgeous, and goddamn, it was unfair.

“You okay?” Keith asked, and he turned around, a concerned frown on his face. “We don’t have to do this, if you changed your mind.”

“Oh, no, I’m—uh, not wanting to do this is sort of the opposite of the problem, actually,” Adam said, and he felt like an idiot, tripping over his words like some infatuated teenager, but Keith was so _goddamn pretty._ “I just….you look really good, Keith.”

It took a moment for Keith to realize what Adam was saying, and then he flushed bright red and looked away for a moment.

“Oh. Uh, okay,” he said, and there was a moment of silence, and then he sighed. “If you’re sure you want to do this,” he said, “is there anything I need to know? Because of...you know.”

Adam hesitated, and turned his attention entirely to Kosmo, running his hands through his fur, which had a texture that wasn’t quite like anything Adam had ever touched before. He knew exactly what Keith was talking about, and he wasn’t exactly overeager to deal with it, and Kosmo provided a little bit of grounding distraction while he mulled the question over.

Adam knew he was lucky. He’d realized how bad things were going, in the first attack by the Galra, and ejected out of his fighter just before it was hit. He’d survived, yes—but it was the Galra who’d found him, not the Garrison. For months, they tortured him for information, until Sendak decided that he was impressed with Adam’s resolve.

He’d spent the better part of two and a half years as Sendak’s bedwarmer, until the Paladins found him while escaping from captivity on Sendak’s cruiser themselves. That’d been almost three years ago, and Adam had spent months in recovery from the physical and psychological damage done by the experience. He only knew about the fight with Honerva secondhand because he’d been on Earth for the entire thing, slowly piecing the fragments of himself back together with the help of the Garrison’s mental health specialists.

“I’m sorry,” Keith said, after the silence stretched out for too long. A tiny sigh passed Adam’s lips, and he looked up at Keith, because Keith had asked a question and he deserved an answer.

“No, it’s fine. I appreciate it, actually, that you care enough to ask,” he said. “Just...don’t..demand that I beg or ask for what I want. Please.” He tightened his grip on Kosmo’s fur, and Kosmo leaned over, pressing his head against Adam’s chest like he could sense Adam’s distress. “That was...one of Sendak’s favorite games. Like if he made me plead for what he was going to do anyway, it somehow meant I really did want it.”

“You didn’t—” Keith started, but Adam cut him off with a smile he knew had to look a little wan.

“I know, and I’m okay, really. I mean it, thank you. For asking. Not everyone does,” he said, and then he gave Kosmo one last scratch behind the ears and took his hands off him, stepping a little away. “Is there somewhere else you can be, buddy? Your dad and I could use some privacy.”

Kosmo barked happily, and then vanished.

“Oh my god,” Keith said, and he stared up at the ceiling, “I’m not his _dad.”_

“I feel like you might fundamentally misunderstand dog ownership,” Adam said, and then he stretched and shrugged off his suit jacket. He started undoing his bowtie, and glanced up to find Keith staring at him, transfixed, and he gave a playful smirk and quirked up an eyebrow in Keith’s direction.

“You, uh, look good too,” Keith said, and then he strode over and grabbed the front of Adam’s shirt, pulling him down into a searing kiss. Adam groaned, softly, leaning in and reaching out to grab Keith’s hips and tracing his hands up Keith’s sides. He tugged Keith’s shirt out of his pants, and started unbuttoning it, sliding his hands underneath the fabric so he could run his hands over Keith’s taut abs.

He could feel Keith tugging at his waistcoat, unbuttoning it and pushing it away, and then Keith pressed the heels of his hands into Adam’s belly. It was definitely softer than Keith’s, Adam knew—his work at the Garrison was intelligence analysis, and he wasn’t exactly keeping himself in fighting-fit shape.

“Cute,” Keith murmured against his lips, and he moved his hands to squeeze at Adam’s sides. Adam blushed faintly, and Keith grinned. “Really. You’re cute.”

“Uh, thanks?” He couldn’t help but smile back. This wasn’t his first hookup, but Adam hadn’t really thought about how much nicer it would be with someone who actually _knew_ him. Knew Adam West, the person, not just the legend of the man who survived the Galra, or even just the slightly chubby, bespectacled Garrison intelligence analyst. “You’re sweet,” he said, and then he returned to undoing Keith’s shirt, and leaned in to kiss him again.

Before long, both of their suits were in messy piles on the floor, and Adam pushed Keith back towards the bed, kneeling between his thighs as Keith sank down onto the mattress. He heard Keith’s breath hitch as he wrapped a hand around Keith’s cock, already hard and eager.

“Well, that fulfills several adolescent fantasies,” Keith breathed, and Adam made a tiny noise of surprise.

“Really? You had adolescent fantasies about _me?_ ” He asked, and Keith flushed bright red.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Keith asked. “You were Shiro’s incredibly hot boyfriend, of course I had a fantasy or two.”

“I didn’t know you thought of me that way,” Adam said, and then he leaned in, drawing his tongue over Keith’s cock.

Keith let out a whine, and reached down to grip at Adam’s hair. Adam hummed and reached back, undoing his ponytail and sliding the elastic around his wrist, and then leaned forward, gently gripping Keith’s hips and taking his cock into his mouth. Keith’s fingers twisted in Adam’s hair, and Adam groaned, bobbing his head up and down.

He drew his tongue over the shaft, and then sucked, and Keith whined, doubling over and yanking hard at Adam’s hair. Adam grinned smugly, and kept sucking, swirling his tongue around Keith’s cock. He glanced up, watching Keith’s face, and felt a sense of smug satisfaction seeing the flush on his cheeks and that his eyes were squeezed shut, mouth hanging open and little mewls and moans escaping in a way that was clearly out of his control.

“Adam, Adam _fuck,_ ” Keith gasped, and he rolled his hips, fucking into Adam’s mouth. Adam hummed and gripped his thighs, holding them down, and then began to bob his head up and down. He could feel tension in Keith’s thighs, and finally Keith gasped and yanked hard at Adam’s hair, tugging him up. “Don’t—I don’t want you to finish me off yet. I really, _really_ want to fuck you.”

Adam slid off Keith’s cock, and gave it one last, teasing lick.

“Yeah, I’d really, really like that,” he said, sitting back and grinning up at Keith.

“Then come here,” Keith said, and Adam climbed up onto the bed, straddling Keith’s hips and pushing him backwards, pinning him—but only briefly, because Keith gave him a playful grin and, with a casual air that seemed to imply it was no effort at all, linked his leg around Adam’s, grabbed his arm, and used them as leverage to flip them over. Adam let out a quiet gasp, and he felt his cheeks heat up and his eyes go a little wide. Sure, he hadn’t exactly been resisting, but the ease with which Keith flipped him over revealed an incredible amount of strength, and was…also just incredibly hot.

Keith bent down to kiss him, and Adam leaned into it, but Keith pulled back far too quickly.

“Let me go grab some lube and a condom. Wait right here, Sunshine,” he said, and then he shifted of the bed, and Adam felt his heart do a little flip. Keith had definitely picked that pet name up from Takashi, and...Adam actually really, really liked hearing someone call him that again. It set something fuzzy and fluttery alight in his chest, and he knew he had to look a little dorky, with the smile that was undoubtedly all over his face.

“Sure thing, kitten,” he said, and he watched Keith pause and took note of a dusting of red on his cheeks, and then he bent over and dug in one of his bags, coming up with a condom and a bottle of lube, and he crawled back on top of Adam with a surprisingly soft smile on his face.

“Kitten. I like that,” he said, and he leaned down to steal a quick kiss before sitting back and squirting some lube onto his fingers. He slid them between Adam’s legs, teasing at his entrance briefly before sliding two into him and making him moan. Keith’s other hand moved to rest on Adam’s thigh, and he squeezed, and made a little considering hum. “I like how soft you are,” he said, and as his fingers worked Adam open, he bent to press kisses to Adam’s neck and shoulders, and Adam automatically tilted his head to bare more of his throat to Keith’s ministrations.

A third finger slipped inside him, and Adam moaned, arching his back, and a tiny huff passed his lips.

“You don’t need to keep doing that,” he said, “I’m ready.”

“You’re sure?” Keith asked, and Adam nodded, and Keith let out a little noise somewhere between a growl and a purr, and just hearing it made Adam’s cock jump. He whined as Keith pulled his fingers out, and spread his legs a little wider, watching as Keith unrolled the condom and put it on, slicking his cock with lube. He let Keith manhandle him into position, and then let out a long, low moan as Keith slid into him, rolling his hips to meet Keith’s cock and push him in deeper.

“ _Fuck,_ ” he gasped, emphatically. Keith was big, he’d known that from the moment he’d gotten to see him naked, but knowing and having Keith filling him up were two very different things. “Fuck, Keith, that’s so good.”

“You feel great, too,” Keith said, his voice a low, rumbling purr. Adam whined when Keith leaned down to kiss him, and rolled his hips to meet Keith’s thrusts as he started moving. It felt incredible to have Keith inside him, fucking him—slow and almost tender, which was exactly what Adam wanted and hadn’t even thought to ask for. Really, though, he wasn’t sure what else to expect from Keith; no matter how much other people thought he was an angry hothead, anyone who knew him at all could tell you that he was softer and gentler than his sharp exterior let on.

He hooked his legs around Keith’s waist without a thought, and let Keith shift him around so that Keith was fucking into him at a better angle to hit his prostate. The first time it happened, Adam cried out, arching his back and gripping at the pillow just above his head for some kind of anchor, and when he opened his eyes, Keith was smirking down at him.

“Good?” he asked, and Adam could only nod inarticulately, reduced to moans timed with the slow drag of Keith’s cock inside him. One of Keith’s hands stayed on Adam’s hip, holding him in place, and the other moved to wrap around his cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts.

Before long, Adam felt the tightening coil in his stomach that signaled his oncoming release.

“Keith, Keith I’m close,” he gasped, and Keith let out a low growl and picked up his pace, leaning down to nip at Adam’s neck, which drew a whine from his throat.

“Good,” Keith purred against his neck, “come for me, sunshine.”

It didn’t take much more. Adam cried out, back arching as he came, and Keith fucked him through it, and kept going even after, and Adam was just on the right edge of being overstimulated when he felt Keith spill too.

He almost wasn’t surprised that Keith didn’t pull out immediately, instead stretching out on top of him and nuzzling at his neck like an oversized, affectionate cat.

“Stay a little while?” he asked. “You can use the shower and get cleaned up.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, “I’d like that. I can stay.”

“Good,” Keith purred, and Adam slid an arm around him, pressing a kiss to his hair almost without thought.

It was funny, how this had shaped up to be one of his better decisions, all things considered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional content warning details: Adam was captured and held by the Galra for the three years following the invasion of Earth, and during that time was tortured for information and eventually forced into a nonconsensual sexual relationship with Sendak. He and Keith briefly talk around this (and it's laid out in narration) because Keith wants to avoid triggering him during sex.
> 
> Thanks to my beta and eternal supporter, Kassie, and also to Alex and Mey and Ink, because this would not exist without y'all and your intense enthusiasm. <3333
> 
> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/noirsongbird) or [Pillowfort!](https://www.pillowfort.io/noirsongbird)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left wonderful, supportive comments!! You guys make this project feel worth it <3333
> 
> Please note that this chapter contains some discussions of past abuse, and also Lotor being distinctly distressed by aspects of Curtis's behavior that remind him of said abuse.

“Lotor!”

Hearing his name, Lotor turned away from watching Keith and Adam slip out of the reception (an interesting couple, but only so unexpected, considering how both of them must’ve been feeling), and smiled broadly when he saw who it was.

“Allura,” he said, warmly, and he opened his arms to welcome her into a hug. “How are things on Altea? I haven’t been able to visit as much as I’d like.”

“I’d imagine reworking the entire Imperial governance system takes up quite a lot of time,” Allura said, and Lotor snorted.

“To say the least,” he said, lightly. “It helps that the people adore Kolivan and Krolia, and that the transition has been peaceful, but the change from shipbound living to planetary living and from a state of constant war to one of peace is…complex.” A soft smile crossed his face. “I’m glad for the chance, though. For ten thousand years my people spoke of  _ dai tuzov,  _ the home we wish to have someday. And now we have it.”

“ _ Dai tuzov.  _ I don’t think I’ve ever heard that expression before,” Allura said.

“We  _ do _ have oaths softer than  _ vrepit sa,  _ but they’re less common among the soldiers, who are most of the people you were dealing with.” He shrugged, with a smile. “But I asked about Altea.” He let her go from the hug, and she stepped back, and the excited sparkle in her eyes almost told him enough on his own.

“It’s  _ wonderful _ , Lotor. You  _ must  _ make time to visit again. The first juniberry bloom has started, and the repairs to the royal palace are almost finished. We keep discovering new pieces of casually integrated technology that makes it go faster; last week, Katie found a buried backup of the castle’s original AI and almost cried.” She laughed, telling the story, and Lotor couldn’t help but laugh with her.

“Speaking of Katie, when can we expect  _ that _ wedding?” Lotor raised his eyebrows, teasingly, and Allura huffed. “A royal wedding would be just what our people need, I think. Especially as a celebration of the completion of the palace.”

“There’s too much else going on, Lotor, and you know that. And speaking of love lives, have you considered asking Lance on a date, yet?” She gave him her own examining eyebrow raise, and Lotor sighed and shook his head. 

“He isn’t interested in me that way.” He glanced over, to find Lance talking with a very pretty cousin of Curtis’s. She looked to be hanging on every word, though Lotor noted with vague interest that Lance didn’t actually seem receptive to her flirting. “It isn’t as if he’s subtle about that sort of thing, and I don’t feel as if I have been either, but.” A tiny shrug. “I am not what he wants, and I’m fine with that.”

“I think you’re writing the possibility off too easily,” Allura said, “but I can hardly make that choice  _ for _ you.”

“Lotor, Allura,” Shiro said. He was smiling like nothing was or ever had been wrong in the world as he walked up to them, new husband on his arm. “Hope we aren’t interrupting, you two looked like you were talking pretty seriously.” 

It was strange, to see Shiro so happy and unburdened. Lotor wanted to be happy for him, but there was something…off about it. Shiro was so rarely totally relaxed, and it was usually only around two specific people, both of whom had just left. 

He scolded himself internally. What sort of friend  _ was  _ he, thinking that Shiro was  _ too happy  _ with the  _ wrong person?  _

“We were discussing rebuilding efforts,” Allura said, and Lotor supposed that was technically true, even if they’d wandered about from the subject. “Lotor asked about the news from Altea—it’s all good, I would say. And absolutely lovely, this time of year. You two should make some time to visit!”

“Maybe after our honeymoon,” Shiro said, and he smiled indulgently over at his husband, sliding an arm around Curtis’s waist. “We’ve got a week in Tahiti planned. I thought about visiting Lilliuela for the Festival of Flowers, but considering what happened  _ last time _ Curtis tried to take a vacation off planet…”

“Ah yes, I imagine after that incident with the Cult…” Allura frowned, and Lotor exhaled. 

The Cult of the Cosmos. The remains of the deity-worship that had grown up around  _ him _ , on the Altean colony in the Quantum Abyss. They had drained quintessence from the colonists in his name, creating a lie about a “paradise” to explain where the victims went, and they transferred their devotion to Honerva when she presented them with a convenient lie about “continuing his legacy” while he and Voltron were missing, presumed dead.

“An incident I’d prefer not to talk about during our  _ wedding reception, _ ” Curtis said tightly, and Lotor wasn’t sure if he was imagining the way his nails looked to dig into Shiro’s arm or not, especially since Shiro didn’t seem to react. 

“Ah, my apologies,” Allura said, and she gave Curtis a smile to match. “It was rude of me to bring it up.”

“It’s alright, Princess,” Curtis said, “but yes, that is part of the reason I was hoping to keep this trip a little more…earthbound.” 

“Speaking of, though, I’ve been busy with wedding planning, so I’m a little out of touch—how have things been going, with the Cult?” Shiro asked, and Curtis’s smile strained in a very visible way. This time, Lotor was  _ absolutely certain  _ Curtis’s nails dug into Shiro’s arm, especially since this time, Shiro definitely winced. 

“Honey,  _ I do not want to talk about work at our wedding, _ ” he hissed, and it was Shiro’s turn to give him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, Baby,” he said, and Lotor hoped his surprise didn’t show on his face. It felt genuinely  _ wrong  _ to hear Shiro use that pet name for someone other than Keith, even though Lotor was of the understanding that it was traditionally romantic and Shiro and Keith’s relationship was, according to both of them, strictly platonic.

“Another time, perhaps,” Lotor said. “There will never stop being work to do.”

“Unfortunately true,” Shiro agreed, with a brief laugh.

“Are you enjoying the reception?” Curtis asked, in a tone that very heavily indicated he would physically haul the conversation into friendlier territory if he had to.

“Oh, very much so!” Allura said, and she physically perked up. “I thought your choice of first dance songs was quite charming, too.”

“It was Takashi’s choice,” Curtis said, and there was something in his tone that felt a little tense, even though his expression was all adoring fondness. “A little nontraditional, considering what the song is  _ about, _ but whatever makes my sweetheart happy.”

There was something odd about the emphasis Curtis put on  _ “sweetheart,”  _ to Lotor’s mind. It sounded, in some ways, false and overwrought—not the way the word sounded when Hunk used it for Romelle, or Sam for Colleen. Much of the way Curtis displayed his affections seemed the same way, were Lotor being honest, but it wasn’t as if he had much experience with human courting customs. Perhaps in some of their cultures it was  _ expected _ to be a little performative with affection, so everyone knew how in love you were.

“A little old, and, yeah, a little nontraditional, I guess, but ‘Careless Whisper’ has been my favorite song since I was a kid,” Shiro said, and there was something a little apologetic in his smile.

“‘Careless Whisper’ was  _ a little old  _ when our  _ grandparents  _ were young, Takashi,” Curtis said, “but, well. Relationships are about compromises, and our second dance was my favorite. And ‘Right Here Waiting’ felt appropriate, all things considered.” He gave a beatific smile, and bumped his hip against Shiro’s, and something in the back of Lotor’s mind tripped at the way Curtis leaned into Shiro’s space, at the way he squeezed Shiro’s arm just a little tighter. 

Lotor swallowed. It wasn’t fair to assume that there was something untoward going on. He had to remember that no matter how much he  _ thought  _ he knew about humans and their rituals, he was, ultimately, an outsider here, and his knowledge was incomplete.

He was overreacting. He  _ had  _ to be overreacting. Curtis was nothing like Sendak, and his relationship with Shiro could in no way be compared to the nightmare Lotor endured at Sendak’s hands.

“It was lovely,” Lotor said, and he forced himself to bury his inner turmoil. He was reading too much into things, in a way he knew he tended to. Not everyone was Zarkon or Honerva or Sendak, out to use and harm people. 

“Oh, Lotor!” Shiro said, “when we talked earlier, you said you had some new Mina pictures to show me?”

“Oh! Yes,” Lotor pulled out his comm unit. There was nothing quite so effective as a distraction from dark thoughts as his cat, and it was quick work to pull up a gallery of her latest antics, which had Shiro and Allura both leaning in close to see the screen. The restoration of Altea has brought back its native fauna, too, and although Mina wasn’t Kova, it was good to have a cat again. 

A few moments of cooing over his cat was almost enough to completely banish Lotor’s doubts.

Except for the way that Curtis leaned in, squeezed Shiro’s bicep, and gave him a tight smile.

“Well, Sugar, I think that’s more than enough of that. We have other guests to see, too!” he said, in a tone that brooked no argument and made Lotor feel like he’d been sucker-punched.

“Alright, Baby,” Shiro said, and he gave Lotor and Allura both a smile, like there was nothing wrong in the whole universe. “I hope we can see you guys more often than just special occasions, I miss having you both around.”

“Katie is going to be working more within the Garrison, so I can promise that I’ll be around more,” Allura said brightly. 

“And hopefully, as Krolia and Kolivan take on more responsibilities, I’ll be freer as well. I’ve missed you,  _ migadi.”  _ Lotor forced his tone to stay even, and prayed that he wasn’t showing any of his distress. 

He was overreacting. Neither Shiro nor Allura were acting as if there was anything wrong with Curtis’s behavior—

But how many times had he forced a smile at some event or other, with Sendak’s claws digging into his hip, reminding him that for all Lotor was the Prince,  _ Sendak _ was Zarkon’s favorite, and  _ Sendak _ held all the power, and all Lotor could do was pretend that everything was fine and he was perfectly happy in an arranged partnership with his father’s right hand man?

“Me too,” Shiro said, and then he let himself be led away, and Lotor took a steadying breath. 

“I’m going to check in with Katie,” Allura said, “but…are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Lotor said, and he was sure it was far too quick, especially with the way Allura’s face twisted up in concern. “I just need some fresh air.”

“As long as you’re certain,” Allura said. Lotor nodded, and Allura gave him one last concerned look, but stepped away. 

Lotor slipped through the reception hall towards one of the doors outside. The hotel’s gardens were lovely, and the reception hall Shiro and Curtis had selected backed directly on them, and it was easy to duck out and take a seat on one of the benches outside. Across the bench, really, leaning his back against one of the arms and stretching his legs over it.

Being outdoors  _ did _ do something to make him feel better—though it was hard to be sure if it was entirely the fresh air or if it was being away from the situation inside. 

He fired off a quick text to Acxa requesting emergency Mina pictures, and was grateful when she responded with no questions, just several very adorable shots of Mina climbing all over Zethrid and Ezor. It  _ was  _ soothing; not quite as much as having Mina in person would have been, but better than just sitting and stewing. 

“Hey,” a voice said from behind him, and he cast a glance over his shoulder and let out a tiny sigh. He wasn’t sure if Lance were the first or last person he wanted to see, but he was there, looking a little awkward and holding a glass of water. His hair was longer than Lotor remembered from his last visit to Earth, enough that he could pull it into a low ponytail without it looking slightly ridiculous, though Lotor would admit that he was, perhaps, a bit more inclined to be charitable about most anything Lance chose to do. 

“Hello,” he said, and he tucked his phone back away as Lance walked around the bench, offering him the glass.

“I saw you step out,” Lance said, and he looked a little nervous, for reasons absolutely beyond Lotor, “and I didn’t want to crowd you if you needed space? But you looked kinda upset, and I was a little worried, so. Water. And I can stay, if you want to sit with someone? Or I can go back inside. Whatever.” Lotor shifted to make room for Lance on the bench as he took the glass from him, and gave him a slightly wobbly smile.

“Thank you,  _ anektra, _ ” he said, “I would appreciate having someone to talk to, yes.”

It took him a long moment to realize what he’d said, as Lance settled down on the bench next to him, and he could have kicked himself.  _ Anektra?  _ Really? He was incredibly lucky that Lance, as far as he knew, had no desire to learn Altean, because Lotor was sure he’d have questions about why Lotor was pulling out an endearment that meant  _ beloved _ . After this, he was fairly certain he was never allowed to tease Shiro about his habit of using romantic-sounding pet names for Keith or Adam ever again.

“Do you need to talk out what happened? Or do you need distractions?” Lance asked, and his concern was so obvious and genuine that it made Lotor’s heart flip, a little.

“I think I would like to talk it out, yes?” He took a deep breath, and pulled his legs up against his chest, folding his arms on top of his knees. “Has anything about Curtis’s behavior struck you as…odd?”

Lotor expected Lance to dismiss it out of hand, and to be reassured that he was reading too much into things. Instead, Lance made a small  _ hmm  _ noise, and shifted so he was facing Lotor, leaning against the back of the bench. 

“…Yeah, now that you mention it, I  _ have _ actually noticed that he’s…kind of…possessive?” Lance let out a little unhappy huff. “And Shiro’s been acting a little weird, too. Like, I remember when he and Adam were together at the Garrison? And he wasn’t…like, don’t get me wrong, Shiro’s a sappy, affectionate dude, but some of the ways he’s affectionate with Curtis are kinda. Weird? They don’t feel like  _ Shiro.” _

“I…had noticed the possessiveness, yes.” Lotor exhaled. “It…stepped close to some unpleasant memories, which is why I stepped outside. But Shiro didn’t seem distressed, and Allura didn’t react, so I thought…” He paused, and considered how exactly to phrase it. “I…because of my…personal history, I sometimes see threats that aren’t there. Because I am so used to having to look over my shoulder, and having to assume that I am always in some form of danger. And I have been trying to…do less of that, because I recognize that it is detrimental, and I wasn’t sure if I really  _ was  _ noticing something or if it was just more of that.” Lance’s expression immediately became concerned, and he moved closer, reaching out to put a hand on Lotor’s knee. 

“Did you ever? Show that you were distressed, I mean. Because of your father, or Sendak, or anything else?” His voice was gentle, and there was something soft in his eyes, and it made Lotor’s chest ache. 

“No,” he admitted. “But I couldn’t afford to, Lance. I was surrounded by potential enemies, not by friends.” A sigh passed his lips. “No one would have saved me. No one would have tried. They would have used any perceived sign of weakness as further proof that I was unworthy, before  _ or  _ after my exile. Shiro’s situation is obviously very different, so I am…more inclined to believe that his lack of apparent distress is genuine?”

“You might not be wrong,” Lance acknowledged, though he didn’t actually look soothed. “I just…don’t like it. I don’t like  _ Curtis,  _ and I don’t like how fast this all happened, and I don’t like how weird Shiro has been around  _ everyone but Curtis.” _

“Was it fast by your perception as well, then?” Lotor asked. “I thought it merely seemed so to me, since I was so caught up in working. I was…stunned to receive the wedding invitation; I had no idea things were so serious between him and Curtis.”

“I…..it’s hard to explain?” Lance said. “Like, yeah, it’s definitely fast, by human standards. People date for  _ years, _ sometimes, before they get married, and whirlwinds like this…they’re not known for ending well? But I was a lot less surprised than I would have been. I’ve seen the way Curtis acts with Shiro, and…I dunno, it kinda felt like he wanted to nail that down as fast as possible.” Lance huffed, unhappily. “Which I guess is smart, considering, you know, Keith and Adam, and how, if Shiro would pull his head out of his ass, he’d have two beautiful guys willing to love him.”

“Unfortunately, Shiro,” Lotor said dryly, and Lance laughed.

“Yeah, that’s about right,” he agreed. He reached up to muss his hair, and stars, such a simple gesture shouldn’t have sent Lotor’s heart skipping, but paired with an actual smile, it did. “Are you feeling any better, having talked it out?”

“I’m feeling less like I’m seeing nonexistent danger around every corner, which is both reassuring and not,” Lotor said. “Reassuring because it means I am less affected than I feared, or perhaps I’m making more progress than I thought in managing it, but not because…”

“Because if you’re right, it means your best friend might be in serious trouble?” Lance asked.

“Yes,” Lotor sighed. “But…I don’t know, Lance. The worst I’ve heard anyone say about Curtis is that he’s  _ boring.” _

“‘The living embodiment of unbuttered toast,’” Lance said, which made Lotor snort in amusement. “Adam’s words, not mine. He has some absolutely  _ brutal  _ burns.”

“I’ve noticed.” Lotor shifted to lean his arm against the back of the bench and rest his cheek against his hand. “But I would think…he’s been with the Garrison for quite some time, yes? As long as Shiro and Adam? So surely…someone ought to have noticed, if something was wrong.”

“No one noticed with Sendak,” Lance pointed out. Lotor shook his head.

“Galra society was built to encourage Sendak’s behavior. A lack of care for the conquered and a desire to elevate those of military acumen regardless of their personality flaws meant that plenty of people were well and aware of what Sendak did to his chosen favorite gladiators—and he was  _ far _ from the only one, at that—and no one _ cared,  _ because he wasn’t harming anyone who truly  _ mattered. _ ” He glanced away, over at the gardens. “I can do all the work in the stars to change our laws, to extend protections to the most vulnerable in our society, and I will still be fighting an uphill battle to change my people’s  _ hearts. _ Not that I’m saying we’re all irredeemable monsters, of course I don’t think that; I wouldn’t fight so hard for my people if I didn’t believe we could be better. But ten thousand years of cruelty and conquest aren’t going to be erased with the wave of a hand.”

“It’s not just on you,” Lance said. “You’ve got Krolia and Kolivan, and Keith, and commanders like Bogh and Lahn, even if we keep having to drag Lahn, kicking and screaming, back into being decent.”

“In fairness, from his perspective, we offered him protection and then vanished for three years,” Lotor pointed out, ears flicking briefly.

“Yeah, well, my point still stands. You’re not alone in this. And we’re not Galra, and there’s only so much we can do, but. You’ve got the rest of Voltron, too.” Lance’s voice was soft, and gentle, and it  _ hurt,  _ because it was so easy to hope that it meant something more than a simple gesture of friendship. 

“Thank you, Lance,” Lotor said, and he knew the smile that softened his face was far,  _ far _ too fond, but he couldn’t help himself. “My point, though, ultimately—Earth society is different. Less built to ignore predators because they’re useful. And Curtis isn’t even  _ that useful,  _ in a coldly practical sense. I can think of at least two major errors that can be directly attributed to him—sending the unshielded message to Voltron that drew Sendak to your planet, and failing to notice Zethrid’s interference with those calls from ‘Keith,’ when she was capturing the Paladins.” 

“ _ Harsh,”  _ Lance said, but his tone and the quirks of his grin were amused.

“But objectively correct,” Lotor said, raising his eyebrows. 

“Oh, absolutely,” Lance agreed. “And maybe you’re right. Maybe somebody would have sniffed something out. But that doesn’t mean you’re seeing things, Lotor, or that there’s nothing to be worried about.” Lance reaches over to take Lotor’s hand and squeeze, and Lotor prayed the heat he felt in his cheeks wasn’t visible.  _ Friendly gestures.  _ He needed to stop reading so much into this. “If nothing else…how they rushed in isn’t great, and  _ I’m  _ a little worried Shiro’s gonna end up hurt.”

Lotor sighed, and took a long drink of the water Lance brought him, and then set it aside.

“If nothing else, yes,” he agreed. “It’s fortunate that your weddings are less permanent than Galra pairbonds; breaking one of those is a painful process that leaves scars.”

“Yeah, they…sound really serious,” Lance said, and he idly ran his thumb over the side of Lotor’s hand, which sent his pulse pounding in a way that  _ had  _ to be noticeable. “Were you ever? Pairbonded?” 

“No,” Lotor said, ears dropping. “With Sendak, I was lucky to avoid it. I suspect it was more out of selfishness, on his part, than anything else, though. To share another person’s experience of feelings, and of pain, might have forced him to develop something akin to empathy.” 

“Which would be a nightmare, obviously,” Lance said dryly, and Lotor laughed a little. 

“Obviously. And after him…there just wasn’t anyone else.” Which wasn’t entirely a lie. No one else that felt the same way, at least, but Lance didn’t need to hear any more pining out loud from Lotor.

“Really? Ten thousand years and  _ no one?” _ Lance asked. Lotor shrugged. 

“I was never in much of a position to get into a romantic relationship. There were too many other worries—the colony, my father, the witch—to consider it. Now, perhaps, but.” He shrugged, and then stretched. “We should go back inside. I suspect the party will be winding down soon, and we both owe Shiro our goodbyes.”

“If you’re sure you’re okay?” Lance asked. “I don’t mind staying out here a little longer.”

“I’m much better. You helped, quite a lot.” He exhaled and pushed himself off the bench, which also meant tugging his hand out of Lance’s, and he hated how distinctly he felt the loss. “Thank you. For checking on me, and for listening, and for…handling my concerns.”

“Yeah, well,” Lance said, as he stood too, “what are friends for?” 

Yes, friends. As much as his heart ached for something more, Lotor knew that he would have to be content with Lance’s friendship. It wasn’t as if that was a terrible thing to have, anyway; Lance was a good friend, determined and caring, and Lotor knew he was lucky to have him.

He would have to spend more time on Earth, he resolved. There was only one way to be certain, in one direction or the other, and that was if he was actually there to see it. That it would also mean more time spent with other friends—spent with  _ Lance _ —was an enjoyable secondary benefit.

Shiro needed someone to look out for him, if he wasn’t going to look out for himself, and Lotor suspected that rushing into a wedding with someone he, by all accounts, barely knew absolutely indicated that he was  _ not.  _ So, fine. As Shiro’s  _ migadi,  _ it was Lotor’s responsibility to have his back anyway, and he would be happy to be back at the Garrison more often. It felt like home in a way Daibazaal still didn’t, ancestral home of his people or no. 

“You coming?” Lance asked, after what must have been a long hesitation on Lotor’s part.

“Yes, sorry,” he said, and he let Lance link their arms together and lead him back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my beta, and to everyone who has been wonderful and supportive so far!!
> 
> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/noirsongbird) or [Pillowfort!](https://www.pillowfort.io/noirsongbird)


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